On Being a Girly-Girl!

Thank God I am a Girly Girl!

This post contains themes of Girly-Girl-edness. Reader discretion is advised (if you don’t like girly stuff!)

Before I begin, some definitions for you:

• D’OH – means OH SH*T! The phrase is attributed to Mr. Homer Simpson (an idol of mine!)
• SCRAATTTTCH – represents that sound you hear when you drag a needle across a record. For those of you who do not understand “record” – refer to Austin Powers in “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” placing a CD on a record player! It’s that sound.
• Peter, Paul and Mary - This may be more of a stretch for some folks – even me actually I never had one PP&M record. Peter, Paul and Mary is a American folk-rock singing band from the 1960s. They sang a song called “Leavin’ on a Jet Plane.” Amazingly, I just learned prior to writing this post that John Denver wrote this song. And, if you don’t know John Denver, I am soooooo not going to try now to explain. Just google it.

Like Peter, Paul and Mary, this girly girl’s bags are packed and ready to go! I’m leavin’ on a jet plane…for GOOGLE. That’s right, I am going to the mecca of the internet world. How can you say internet and not somehow think of Google, googling or YouTube…honestly!

Anyway,  I am on my way to Cali, standing online at the airport when D’OH! the computer instructs me to see an agent. You all know what that means, right? It ain’t good. Well, I won’t bore you with the details (that’s another post), but my luggage is checked, and I am not.  At least until 3pm.

I think, ok, I will go home for a bit and then come back. It will be an easy breezy check-in when I return - my bags are checked. I make the trek back to the parking garage without a thought in the world as to where my car is parked because I did park there. But I cannot find it.  It’s humid and cool and my hair begins to swell. If you haven’t read my post “On the Twists and Turns of Biracial Hair,” then I can tell you that this is not good. The longer I search, the bigger and frizzier my hair gets.

I finally find the car and wonder why I don’t have a flask like the paranormal lady in Poltergeist! Oh well, I can go home and fix myself up!  SCRAATTTTCH! Make-up bag, curlers, fave curling iron are already packed, ready to go and I assume are waiting patiently for my arrival in Indy, or Atlanta, or San Jose (final destination). What is a girl to do? Then, I realize, “that’s right, I AM A GIRLY GIRL! I have back-up supplies (seen in the above photo).

AM I REALLY GIRLY-GIRL PREPARED?

I evaluate the situation. OK, everything that is essential to the Girly-Girl is packed. Curlers, serums, setting lotions, tooth brush/paste, big barrelled curling iron. What do I have on hand? OK, I do work out, so that means I ALWAYS  have some extra supplies. I scour my old Nike gym bag; extra brush, some lotions. Not as much as I thought then…..

OH YES, my “9-1-1 Girly-Girl Repair” BAG in the Car! (seen below)

The 911 Bag You Keep in the Car

Ladies, Ladyboyz, and those who aspire to Girly-Girledness: If your make-up supply runs low and you need to replace a few things, don’t throw the empties unless they are totally empty (or you can recycle them for more stuff at MAC – 6 empties gets you a free gloss or lipstick). I keep in my car: a make-up brush, some blush I got tired of, some cheap mascara I bought at CVS, an eye pencil I didn’t really like after all. I keep all of these in one of those cheap plastic cases in the side door of my car. Things are looking up! I do have lip essentials because, of course, lipstick/gloss is in that handy ziploc bag in my purses.

I am in a better position, but what else?

TIME TO RAID “THE DRAWER”

My hubby makes fun of me for all the “girl stuff” I have. (“How can you say you don’t have anything, look at those drawers in the bathroom?”). I never hear THAT enough. Oh yeah, I do hear some things he says! So now, I inventory:

• I have curlers, no curler clips, but I have a set of bobbypins.  So I can roll my hair.
• I have extra setting lotion (because you never use a whole bottle, 3 parts to 1 part ladies).
• I have the complementary make-up case from CLARINS when Nordstrom at the Fashion Mall first opened!
• I have the 911 Girly Girl care bag.

SCRAATTTTCH! WHAT IF THE HAIR DOES NOT COOPERATE?

Ok, so I did say I had curlers, but not my FAVORITE CURLERS. Just curlers I don’t use much anymore. If the curls come out too tight or too lose, what do I do for a curling iron? I packed the favorite large-barrelled curling iron! THE DRAWER (seen below)

Ok, we all have a drawer! We have junk drawers in our kitchen (we have two – we are progressive!). BTW Men: if you decided to read this, don’t lie, you know you have drawers in your toolsheds, bathrooms, or secret secret rooms we don’t know about (oh yeah, by the way, we know). My drawer is appliance heaven!  (for hair mind you, other appliances shall remain nameless and unreferred to in this post). I am feeling good now, really good!

WHAT ABOUT THE HAIR DRYER?

Conair Hair Dryer: Tools of the Biracial Hair Trade

If you have not read my post “Twists and Turns of Biracial Hair” you will not get this reference. But here’s the deal. I don’t dry my hair with a blow dryer unless I am travelling…WITH MY CURLERS and setting lotion. It takes too long.  I keep a Conair standup hair dryer under an end-table in my living room (it goes away when company comes!)

DOES THIS PROVE I AM TRULY A GIRLY-GIRL

I think that it does. I have backup tools for my backup tools. Plus, I didn’t reveal the goodies I keep in the closet! Plus, look, I have a stand-up hair dryer, appropriately named “The Precious.”  Being a girly-girl requires that you are prepared for the worst. If all your stuff is lost or packed or if you are stuck on the side of a highway, you must ALWAYS have some sort of support. Most would say that support is a GARMIN, or NORTHSTAR system. I agree, but if you are a girly-girl, you need to keep some essentials within reach. A little gloss, some mascara, a brush and some toothpaste and a toothbrush. Bad breath is never a good thing. Fresh breath and a clean smile can always save the day if you have nothing else.  Keep extras of toothbrushes, go to the CVS and buy those little kits for $2.49. Buy a little squeezy tube of breath freshener at Walgreens for $0.69, a cheap tube of gloss and keep those perfume samples stashed away in a place in your car.

I think an appropriate end is this little tune from the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical Flower Drum Song:

When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl! (And I LOOOVE being a girl girl!)
 

I GOT THIS!

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